so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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