Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
