Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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