i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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