his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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