Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
