My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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