You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This is classic penis vs brain.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
