We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
