It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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