Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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