What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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