You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
