That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
