Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
