i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
