escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
