Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
