to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
