: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
