I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize