Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
