you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
