tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
