After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
