But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
