she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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