So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
