maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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