Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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