i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
