This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it's like iHOP with fire
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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