you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
