Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
