yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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