i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
