You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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