I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she woke up with a sticky ear
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
