i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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