Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
