so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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