I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
