That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
