he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
