My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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