girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
