I CAN MOONWALK!
i already hear my dad disowning me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
