no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
