Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Farmville is her only friend.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
