currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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