What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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