Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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