I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
