i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
