and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she told me i tasted like america
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
