just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
