soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
