when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have already put on my inside pants.
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