i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
